Triangle Wine Experience - Vintage 2015

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Ode to Special Moms

Erma Bombeck was an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper column that described suburban home life from the mid-1960s until the late 1990s. She also published 15 books, most of which became bestsellers. Erma learned to laugh because of – or in spite of – being born with incurable polycystic kidney disease, which ultimately led to daily dialysis, a kidney transplant, and her death in 1996 at age 69.

She could make you laugh and cry at the same time, ergo this poem:

Ode to Special Moms


Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social
pressures and a couple by habit.

This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children.
Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for
propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs
his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint, Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter,
patron saint, Cecilia.

"Rudledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint, give her Gerard. He's used to
profanity."

Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped
child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," says God. "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does
not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of
self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll
handle it.

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is
so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give
her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not
going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just
enough selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally,
she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child
less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a 'spoken word.' She will never consider a
'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will
be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset
to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see . . . ignorance, cruelty, prejudice . . . and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, pen poised midair.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

— Erma Bombeck, 1980

Need more inspiration?
Read more inspirational poetry and verses written by parents who have children with special needs or disabilities. Their words are inspirational and often empowering. Most of all, these words remind us that we are not alone.

Are you a mother of a special needs child?
If you can't get out much you can still share with mothers who experience the same struggles as you do. Join Circle of Moms.

Are you the mother of a child with autism?
You can join moms like you at special events or support groups. For further information go to the Wake County Autism Society.

Are you a mother of a child with Downs Syndrome?
The Triangle Down Syndrome Network supports, educates, and connects individuals with Down syndrome, their families, and communities in North Carolina.